Thursday 2nd July

Rhian slept ALL night!!!
Praise the lord for Pamol!!!!!!
Hahahahahahaha......

I dosed her up on the nasal decogestant, the cough syrup AND the Pamol and it must have been enough to relieve all her woes and let her fall asleep properly....
She is a happy girl this morning - and i am a happy mum!
She is still completely stuffed up in the nose and coughing too, but at least she is not grumpy and overtired to boot - YAY!!!

Kate asked what size clothes I am wearing in the comparison photos....
Well, the fat one was taken in December and I was weighing in at 140kg. Jeans were a size 26 and they were bloody tight - as you can see!!! Top was a 26 as well.
The comparison shot was taken on Tuesday weighing in at 100.5kg, and the jeans are a size 22, but are too big and I can't wear them without a belt. The Black merino is a 16, and the Red cardigan is an 18.
So although I am still "up there" in the size brackets, it is a huge change from squeezing myself in to size 26 clothes!!!

Not sure what today will hold..... I am going to make a conscious effort to get my snacking under control.... You see, when i am at work, I have breakfast at a set time, then lunch, then it's home time and dinner.
At home, I find myself just picking and grazing all day long and it is NOT GOOD!!
Definitely a habit that I don't want to get in to at all!
Although I am still not eating a great deal of food, there are still bites of things that I shouldn't be eating at all sneaking in, and I know that I don't need any of it.
Yesterday Rhian had crumpets for breakfast, so I had a quarter of one with butter and jam on it - DIVINE!!!! But, i just knew that I couldn't eat more than that by the way that my tummy churned after about 5 minutes.
After we had been to the Dr, I let Rhian choose what she wanted for lunch, and she chose to go to the bakery.... all she wanted was a long cream filled donut. I don't have a problem with that, as it doesn't happen often, so a cream donut is what she got.
But..... when we got home, she wanted to share it with Mummy!
OK - I had a bite, and it was lovely, but again, I could tell from the reaction of my tummy that it was something I would never be able to eat a great deal of.
Then Jeremy turned up with a couple of mini mince savouries for Rhian, as he knows that she loves them.... and I decided one bite wouldn't hurt, so that is what I had. It was lovely! lol
Later that afternoon I had a few Cheeseballs, then it was dinnertime and we had meatloaf with steamed vegetables.
I had about a quarter of a slice of meatloaf, and some veges and that was enough.

Now, when I read back over that, I am horrified at how bad my eating was!!!!
Like I said, I still don't eat a great deal, but just about every single thing I ate yesterday was CRAP!! And I KNOW that when I am at work, or even at home on the weekends, I make an effort to stay structured and protein loaded!
So...... in hindsight, I should have had porridge for breakfast instead of 1/4 of a crumpet.
I should have had tuna for lunch on a couple of crackers instead of a bite of a donut and half a mince savoury!
And, I shouldn't have bothered with the cheeseballs because then I would have been able to eat more meatloaf (protein) at dinner time!!!

See..... I know all the rules, but yet I choose to break them?
Hmmmmm..... it is my rebellious side coming out in me I guess!
Anyway, today, I WILL eat like I am supposed to, and I WILL get enough protein........ NOT carbs!

I had a dream last night that I was running.
Not running away from anything, but actually running for exercise.
I turned down an invitation to go out on the wines with the girls in favour of putting on my sneakers and going out for a run!!!!
I woke up inspired and excited about it!
Of course I can't do ANYTHING with Rhian like this, cos to take her out in this weather would just be stupid, but I am going to sit down today and work out an exercise plan that I can start over the next week when she is away at her dads.
It will include walking, running and swimming I think..... Need to get my bike sorted out before I can add that to the mix as well....
YAY!!!

Righto - I am just babbling now..... time to go join my girl on the couch to watch the Barbie movie - AGAIN!!!!