Wednesday 18th March

Where the hell to start.....................
I will start with my "friend"
You guys know me too well.
I DID end up going for dinner, and I DID end up doing the bloody dishes!!!!
Felt like a bit of an idiot when I got home to read all your comments about me being taken for granted etc...
That is exactly how I felt.
I didn't really talk to her much at all while I was there, and I think she was a bit surprised when I didn't turn up with a present for her son.
It was a bit awkward, cos when Rhian and I got there, she called Jayden out, it was as if she was expecting us to give him something.
I just said "Happy Birthday" and went about getting the lasagne in to the oven.
Anyway........ she picked up on the fact that I wasn't talking much, and asked if I was OK.
I replied that it had just been a long week at work, and I had been quite busy.
The "kids" (her eldest daughter and her daughters loser mates) were all lounging around on the couches, so there was no where to sit, and none of them had any intention of moving to make room for anyone else.
Dinner sucked, there was no cake, the son was completely disrespectful to those who did bring him a present, and I ended up telling off her other son, doing the dishes then coming home to complain to Jeremy about how rude they all were, and how I don't want to be her friend anymore!!!!
I got an email on Friday morning from her, asking how I was feeling, then a couple of texts over the weekend, and a phone call.
The phone call lasted for about 8 minutes, and consisted of her telling me all about her day at the races, and how drunk she got.
Seriously..... Jeremy could hear my side of the conversation, and all it consisted of was "Yep, Uh-huh, Oh, Mmm" & the occasional "Really?"
Not once did she ask how our trip was going, not once did she ask how we were.
The entire conversation was one sided and it was all about her - dunno why I expected anything else!
I guess the only reason that I feel that I need to salvage the friendship (if it is even salvageable) is the fact that when Jeremy and I broke up, she was the one that organised the movers for me.  I slept on her couch the night we broke up, and she was really strong for me.
In hindsight, (and after talking to the therapist on Monday- another story) the reason that she was so quick to act (with the movers) when Jeremy and I split up, is because she thought that it meant I would be at her beck and call.  And to be honest, I was so lost there for a while, that I was at her place a lot of the time.
That is all in the past now, but I can't help but feel a little guilty about it.  I am such a people pleaser after all!
Anyway...... the upshot of it all, is that I am definitely taking a step back from the friendship, and I will just take it day by day.
Thanks for all your comments about it all........ I didn't realise how bad it all was until I got the point of view of others.

Now........ on to the weekend away and my 6 week check up.
The perfect plans that we had all turned to custard when we found out that Steph wouldn't be flying in from Sydney after all.
That is a whole other story, but she had some urgent stuff to take care of over there that couldn't be put off, so we had a bit of a reshuffle at the last minute and Jeremy ended up coming away with me instead.
We didn't leave Wellington until nearly 5pm due to a whole host of reasons, which meant we didn't get in to Rotorua until about 11pm.
Rhian was a wee trouper throughout the entire journey, and only gave in to sleep for about half an hour while we were on the Desert Road!
She talked and talked and talked and talked............ and now that I think about it - I am pretty sure that is her way of not getting carsick!
The room that we had, was made up of two queen size beds, so Rhian thought that was just great - having a whole huge bed to herself, but still being in the same room as Mummy!
She was still fighting sleep at midnight, and it was bloody funny, cos one minute she was talking, and the next minute she was snoring.
Too cute!!

Saturday morning saw us up and about early, as Mr ADHD (Jeremy) and Miss Is it Wake Up Time Yet? (Rhian) were awake at 6.30am!!!!!!!!
There was NO CHANCE of a sleep in, so I figured if I couldn't get one, then dammit, neither could Mum or Dad!!
An early morning text to them to wake them up put a smile on my face!!  hehehehehehe - I am such a tart!!  
We were down at the lake by 7.30am, feeding the ducks, playing in the park, then back to the hotel for a swim, followed by breakfast, then back to the park again!
We did some window shopping, Jeremy got a haircut, went back tot he park (again) and got adventurous and hired a paddle boat thingee and peddled our way around the lake for a bit - it was a lot harder than what it looked like, so by the time we got back to solid ground, my thighs were aching a bit!  hehehe
Then it was time for a coffee, then back to the hotel to meet mum and dad who had driven over from Waihi.
They took Rhian off for an hour or so, and she managed to convince them that she hadn't had anything to eat all day, so a trip to McDonalds ensued.... my little girl is a bit of a story teller extraordinaire  :)
Then once they all got back, we headed off to the party - me as the sober driver.
It was great to catch up with family and I got a buzz everytime someone commented on how much weight i had lost, and how great I was looking!
Of course I knew that Uncle J would stick his foot in it at some stage, and I wasn't disappointed when he announced to the other guests, that "She used to be an even BIGGER girl!!!"
I just laughed it off, cos I know he meant that he was proud of how far I have already come, but I guess he could have worded it a bit better!  hehehehehe...
We hung out for a few hours, but I started getting tired, and said to Jeremy that I wanted to go back to the hotel.
So we (Rhian, Jeremy and myself) left the "oldies" (mum, dad, Auntie's & uncles) at the party, and headed back to the hotel.  We had a lovely swim in the indoor heated pool, before heading back to the room and crashing out for the night - BLISS!!!!!

Sunday morning we were up at about 7.30am, as Rhian was absolutely busting to go see her Nana and Grandad, so after making sure that they were awake, she raced off down the hallway in the hotel to their room, while Jeremy and I headed out for some coffee.
Then it was back tot he hotel for breakfast, and checking out.
Rhian went off with her beloved Nana & Grandad to our Aunty's house, and Jeremy and I headed off for Hamilton.
Booked in to the hotel, and then went out for a bit of a walk and had a relaxing day just taking in the sights.
It was brilliant!

Monday was my appointments, and it started with Zola, the nutritionist who basically just went through what I have been eating, how I reacted to it, what I was allowed to start eating etc.  Jeremy came to that one, and I think he took quite a lot on board - YAY!
Next was Donna, the psychologist and although I didn't think that I got a lot out of it at the time, the past few days have seen me thinking about what she said, and putting it all together, so maybe I took more out of it than what I thought I did!
It was all about putting ME first, instead of everyone else, and not worrying about what everyone else thinks about what I am doing, or what I have done etc.
Was good considering some of the things that are going on with me at the moment.
The last appointment of the day was with David, the surgeon, and Jeremy came with me to that one too.  That was fantastic, as David explained the whole brain thing to him, and again, he took a lot on board.
All three appointments went well, and they are all pleased with my progress so far.
Zola weighed me, and her scales had me at 122.9kgs fully clothed, so that is a bit lighter than what I was last week on my own scales at home.
I was supposed to go over to the Physio clinic to meet with the guy to get some specific exercises, but a phone call just an hour before my appointment, told me that they had double booked, and I would have to re-schedule.
To be honest, I wasn't worried in the slightest, cos I was a bit knackered from the other three appointments, so we headed off out of town towards Taupo....

Stayed in Taupo on Monday night, got a room with a spa and soaked in that for ages!!!!
Then on Tuesday morning we set off for Foxton, collected Rhian from Nana's place, and then headed home to Wellington.
The first thing I did when we got home?
FLOODED THE LAUNDRY!!!!!
I had FOUR loads of washing to get done and on the first one, forgot about some bloody clothes I had dumped in the sink, and overflowed the bloody thing!!!
I'm terrible for flooding laundry's!   lol
Anyway, I got all that cleaned up while Jeremy did the dishes that were still sitting there from Friday, then vacuumed and cleaned up the rest of the house!
I tell ya - that boy is a damn godsend at times :)
Chris came and collected Rhian, and then Jeremy and I headed to the house to see what progress had been made while he was away.
To say that I was a little disappointed would be a huge understatement!!!
Although a lot of the hard stuff had been done, like the shifting of the pipes for the new sink, plastering the corners of the rooms, the roof had been fixed and plastered where it had been sagging, it didn't actually LOOK like much had been done, and I was kind of expecting more.
Ah well........ good things take time so they say, and it just means that we will have a bit more to do in the upcoming weeks.
The kitchen is still sitting in the garage, waiting patiently to be installed, but there are so many little things that need to be done before that can happen.
I tell ya what - never again will I underestimate how much work and effort goes in to renovations!  hehehehe.....

The plan for this week, is to get out walking after work tonight, and then Thursday and Friday I will walk to and from work.
I know that the weekend will be spent on the house, so I will get plenty of incidental exercise done there.
Next week I have Rhian back again, and I have said before how difficult it is to get any exercise in with her, so I am going to try my hardest to walk at lunch times next week.  I can get in a decent 30-40 minute walk during my lunch break, so that is just what I am going to do.
Planning, planning, planning is the key, and that goes for meal times as well.
So, tonight I will sit down and plan out the meals for the remainder of the week and weekend, and hopefully that will help in elimination last minute decisions that see me suffering from hastily made decisions.

All in all, the weekend away was fantastic for Jeremy and myself.
We got a lot of chances to sit down and talk about the future etc.
We are both positive about things, and both want to move forward, so it was wonderful to be able to actually put some time-lines in place for stuff, and talk openly about how we feel and what our expectations are with each other and also other things in our life.
I know that over the past few months, things have certainly changed for both of us, and I also know that I am 100% happy with him and the way things are going, and it is brilliant to feel secure and loved.

Life is just bloody brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!