Tuesday 10th March

Well, today I have been feeling like a big old fat bag of shit!
Not sure why, but I am guessing that it is just a "hangover" from yesterdays weigh in result.
Plus, I measured this morning, and although they have gone down, it is only by a small amount and hardly worth mentioning!
I am going to re-do them tomorrow morning to make sure that  I got them right, but I am pretty sure I have, and like I said - they nothing to write home about at all.
So, I am picking that is why I feel crappy.
Oh, and this morning I made Rhian some toast with honey on it, and before I could even think about it, I had eaten a quarter.
Now, I know that one quarter of a slice of toast with honey on it shouldn't really be any cause for alarm, but within 5 minutes of eating it, I knew that my body didn't like it, and I spent several hours this morning feeling the side affects!  Just a queasy tummy, with a few cramps and a really yucky "heavy" feeling.
That'll be white bread for ya!!!
Hmmmmmm....  Wont be doing that again any time soon!

I went out for lunch with a work mate and a friend of hers who had the surgery in November of 2007, and it was great!
Her friend looks really good, and has such a positive and happy outlook on life, it really does rub off on those around her.
I went to lunch feeling miserable and yuck, but have come back to work feeling quite a lot more positive and upbeat about things....
So it was a great experience in the end!  Especially since I didn't even want to go at once stage!

The new kitchen is in a million pieces in Jeremy's garage at the moment, but from what I can see of it - I LOVE IT!!!
It is white, with frosted white glass in some of the doors, and stainless handles.  Just gorgeous!!!
I had seen pictures, but to see it for real is just way cool!
Now he has to decide whether to come away with me on the weekend, or stay behind and help his dad get the kitchen installed.

I can't remember if I have mentioned this before, and you may have picked up on it already....... but I am really really happy with Jeremy now.
It is like a light went off for both of us, and we realised that we were acting like idiots!
I'm just disappointed that it took us breaking up (and all the shit that came along with that) to get to the point where we knew we were both in the wrong.
Gone are the arguments about stupid stuff, and the result being me storming off vowing to "leave him".
Gone are the days of him going off to the pub with his "mates" for all hours of the night.
Gone are the days of me doing everything, and him sitting on his arse lapping it all up.
It is finally like a partnership, two adults sharing things without fearing the repercussions.
He is totally 100% supportive in my weight loss, and in fact has started cooking according to what I need, not what he wants.
Actually - he never used to cook at all, so it is a HUGE bonus!!!
Instead of him coming home at night and plonking his arse on the couch asking what is for dinner...... he comes home, brings the washing in, folds it, gets dinner started, and does anything that may need doing as well.....
It has been a huge adjustment for me, as I am actually used to running around after people, but it is a change that I am loving!!!
We talk more, we listen more, we argue less, we appreciate each other more, and it is brilliant!
Like I said........... I am just disappointed that it had to get to where it did, before we BOTH realised what idiots we were being!!!
So there ya have it.........

Apart from feeling pretty crappy today - I know that things are actually going really well in my life now, and I am positive that they will continue to do so.......
My Family is amazing and supportive and give me 100% unconditional love.
Rhian is the light of my life, and I don't know where I would be without her...... Flat Boobies comments and all!
Jeremy is proving that he is capable of being in a loving and committed relationship that is based on trust and respect, and I am loving that!
My friends are there for me - even if they do drive me crazy by not offering to do the dishes after I have cooked them dinner - but that is a whole other story.... *rolls eyes*
My job is challenging, yet not stressful, and I am not taken for granted, nor am I treated like an idiot.  I love it!
My health is improving every day, and I know that this surgery has been a hard road so far, but I also know that it will get better, and I am sure that one day, I will look back and say that it was the best decision I ever made!
Now all I need to do is win Lotto!
Case closed :)