Thursday 5th March

Had three compliments today.... YAY!
Feeling bloody marvellous about them too!!!!!!!

Walked to work again this morning..... and am feeling good about that too!
Like I said yesterday - it isn't actually that far, but it is a start, and I am comfortable with it at this stage.

I really want to get back in the pool..... I remember when I was swimming loads, I could peel off 100 lengths no problem at all.
I betcha I will struggle to do 10 when I start again!  lol
Still, ya have to start somewhere huh???

I am feeling more and more positive every day, and I am loving it.
I am still struggling at times with food, and vomiting, but that is slowly getting better too.
Yesterday I wasn't sick at all, today has been another good day, so as long as I can keep dinner down tonight I will have gone TWO WHOLE DAYS without throwing up!!!
And that has GOT to be good!!!

I'm learning about what my body can handle and what it can't.
And I must say that it took me a while to figure out that the pain I have been suffering from, has actually been the "dumping syndrome" that is so often talked about with WLS patients, and not the volume of food that I have been eating.
I had heard of dizziness, nausea, extreme tiredness, yawning and feeling light headed, but I hadn't heard too much about the sharp pain being a symptom of dumping.
So - Google was my friend, and I came across a host of sites that list the different symptoms, and whaddaya know........ pain or cramping is a common thing.
I must admit, a couple of times I actually freaked out that I had "broken" my new stomach, the pain was that bad!!!!
But reading about it more, has reassured me that it is a "normal" part of this journey, and I have to avoid the foods that cause me to "dump"

Here is a great, straight forward explanation of "dumping":

Definition: Dumping syndrome, or rapid gastric emptying, is a combination of symptoms that occur when an overly large meal, or a meal high in fat or sugar is consumed by a weight loss surgery patient. The meal is "dumped" into the small intestine when the stomach empties quickly, causing feelings of nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach gas, racing heart, cramps and cold sweats.   Most episodes of dumping syndrome can be prevented by avoiding eating overly large meals and sugary foods. Prevention is important as the symptoms are not only very uncomfortable, but they also are very similar to the symptoms of a heart attack.

So there ya have it!!!
That pretty much sums it up nicely!  lol
The feeling that I get after I have eaten too much is completely different, it is how I used to feel after Christmas Dinner!  lol
And I get that feeling now after I have eaten more than say a half a cup of food!!!
Or....... if my protein shake is more than about 150mls!  
To think about the sheer volumes of food that I used to put away, compared to what I eat now, makes me laugh!!!!
If I remember, I will take a photo of my next meal....... it's bloody funny!
Lunch today was  2 x Sesameal crackers, and 1 x cheese triangle (you know the cheese segments that we used to eat as kids!)
I cut the cheese segment in half and spread each half on to a cracker, and VOILA - that is lunch!!!!
And I'm full after that - no need for anything else at all!
Bloody crazy!!!!!!!

And Janine - great suggestions about opening the boxes of clothes now.....
Only problem is - I am scared!  
Weird huh???
I guess I am just worried that I will open the boxes, and although I have lost a bit of weight, I am paranoid that none of the clothes will actually fit me!
How stuffed up is that train of thought then?????
Guess it comes down to me trying on a dress the other day.......
Jeremy told me that we had a ball to go to at the end of this month.
I freaked out!!!!!
Then I remembered my good old bridesmaids dress from Steph's wedding, that I have remodelled and worn in several different ways over the years.
Well, the last time I wore it was about 6 months after I met Jeremy, to a ball, and I must have weighed about 115kgs then, if not a bit less.
I tried it on a couple of days ago, and couldn't get the zip done up, and was GUTTED!!!!!
That totally makes sense of course - I mean, I was 8kgs (at least) lighter than what I am now when I wore it, so OF COURSE I am going to struggle to do it up now.
But....... it still knocked my confidence a bit!
Anyway............ maybe it is time I just shook off the feeling of being scared, and rip into the boxes already!
At least that way I will KNOW what I can wear now, and what I can look forward to wearing over the next few months!

Ya know what?!?!?!?!
That is JUST what I am gonna do tonight!
Rip open those boxes!!!!!
Well, all except the one that is full of size 16 or under!!!!  
They are the clothes that I never did lose enough weight last time to get in to.........
Still, it wont be long before that one gets opened too!!!

LIFE IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!