Me this morning.....
I'm so vain!!!!
*grins*
My gorgeous school girl and her fake "let's hurry up and get this over with" smile.
I remember back a few years...... I must have been about 25.
My best friend at the time had a dress, and I saw it, and made a comment.....
I was on one of my "diets" again, I was all motivated - it must have been in the first few days! hehehehe....
"I will be able to fit that one day" I said proudly and full of determination.
Her response:
"No you won't. You'll never fit this, it's only a 16"
That conversation still sits in the back of my mind and it used to haunt me.
At size 26, a size 16 was all I could ever dream for.
Now, I sit here in size 16, wondering how long it will be before I am in a 14.
And as I wonder that, I also think about my friend, and what she would say if she saw me now.
It's a funny old journey this one.
I have become aware of the fact that I am a lot more vain than I ever thought I was.
The mirror no longer scares me as much as it used to.
Don't get me wrong, I still hate the cottage cheese look thighs, and the saggy arms and boobs.
But, when I am dressed, I don't care about all that.
I feel "normal" for the first time in my life.
I feel confident that no one is looking at the size of my arse and judging me by it.
I'm happy.
Happier than I thought I would be.
I also think I am a much nicer person to be around.
I'm not angry at the world all the time or angry at myself or angry at food.
And I am glad about all of that :)
This morning, I ran to catch a door that was being held open for me.
I didn't pop a lung, or break a sweat, or look like a lumbering hippopotamus - well I don't think I did anyway :)
And when I got through the door - I smiled.
It's a new world for me now.
Sure, I am still the same person inside, I still have my insecurities and doubts, but I have also changed.
Changed for the better.
I'm not hiding anymore.
I'm standing up for myself, I'm living, I'm loving and I'm enjoying life.
And ya know what - it doesn't get any better than that!!!
Me me me me me me me me me me me me...........
*wink*
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Thursday 17th September 2009
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I'm envious - but in a nice way! You are honestly looking fantastic. Even though there are parts that you aren't quite 100% happy with your body shape is looking pretty damn good!! (Me - I'm the classic apple shape and that's hard to disguise!)
ReplyDeleteRhian is as gorgeous as ever:-) LOL also got to add that I hope you bang into your old friend somewhere one day, she will be gob smacked!
you both look like school girls in your pics! seriously you look a lot younger now, probably partly from feeling like all the new adventures of feeling fit and well, and going to the gym, and such. good on you for doing so well with a great mental attitude. from Jasmine, long term now and again reader of your blog.
ReplyDeleteI love this post Miss Jo! You express yourself so beautifully and I completely understand what you mean... btw... is that one of my shirts?! ;) tee hee
ReplyDeleteGreat post Jo!! KB from Memphis:)
ReplyDelete