I got tagged by Janene the other day and have been trying to think of how to complete the task!!
Rules ...For this the rules are simple - list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep!
1. I am over-emotional. Always have been, and no doubt always will be. I cry all the time when watching tv, or reading sad stuff. Extreme Makeover makes me howl, I even found myself drying the tears during the auditions of American Idol the other night!!!
2. I am addicted to reality TV. Especially if it involves fat people. Dunno why.
3. I adore my daughter, but quite often think that she would be better off with her dad full time, as I think I suck as a mother. I have no patience at times, and I think she deserves better than a mother that struggles to take care of herself sometimes!
4. I was a complete slut in my earlier years. I think it stems from me thinking that sex equalled love. I figured that if I slept with a guy, then they would want to be with me and fall in love and I would have the faity tale!!! Of course I grew out of that - THANK GOD!!!!
5. I worry too much about what other people think of me and my decisions. I know that if I didn't care what others thought of me, I would have moved back in with Jeremy already. My heart is screaming for me to do that now, but I know that others disapprove, and so I stay here miserable on my own.
6. I am so far in debt that I lay awake at night stressing about how I can get myself out of this hole that I have dug for myself. Yet I still take on more debt.... I have a problem.
7. I once lied and told an ex-boyfriend (Lee), that I was pregnant, in the hope that he would take me back and we would live happily ever after in Auckland. He told me to get an abortion! I was 19 and heartbroken.
8. I don't trust people easily. An ex boyfriend (Rodney) lied and cheated and treated me like a piece of shit for almost a year. Since breaking up with him (years and years ago) I have found it extremely hard to take anyone at face value. It has affected my life in more ways than I can list here.
9. I don't give a shit about politics or world hunger or global warning or anything else that doesn't involve me directly. If it isn't within my little bubble, then I simply don't care!!! Call me ignorant.......... I don't care.
10. I wish I was a better Christian. Forgiveness is essential in the Christian faith, and with my history of not trusting people, I find it hard to forgive anything. I wish that I could completely succumb to my faith and let God take care of it all. But I can't give up control of my life. I watch others that I have met through the church and witness their complete and unswaying devotion, and wish that I was more like them. I want to be a better person.
So there ya have it!!!
It has taken me a few days to come up with that list, and it is not easy writing it all down, cos I KNOW there are people out there that are going to roll their eyes. And as much as I say that I don't care.......... I do! See #5! lol
And now I am supposed to tag 7 other bloggers................. BUT............... I only read a few blogs, and I am pretty sure that they have all done this already.
I will do this. But it might take me a couple of days.
ReplyDeleteThanks for inviting me again.
I will also send you a separate email.
You are not alone. You have heaps of support. xxxx
I bet with every kilo you lose your self confidence will soar and you will find out that you are the best mother you can be to Rhian, if you really really want to be with Jeremy and really really like the pwerson he is, well then you should make the decision thats right for you. Its your life and only you can live it. Be happy in your own heart and soul, and life will be sweet.
ReplyDeleteCheers
No rolling my eyes here....and no surprises for me at what you have written either!!
ReplyDeleteLuv You :)
xoxoxo
I have found these really interesting on what people have written down. As parents we do the best we can at that time, Rhian I am sure loves you no matter what, if we have made mistakes while parenting the best thing we can do is learn from it.... and like Margaret said with every kilo you lose you will gain in confidence.... Have a great day :-)
ReplyDeletelove you answers, I always cry during shorty street, dunno why! and I love reality tv especially biggest loser etc and I am addicted to books bout weight loss silly thing is I never get round to reading them, but the book shelf looks impressive haha.....
ReplyDeleteHi ya,
ReplyDeleteI am so not a writer. I always have tons of stuff swirling around in my head, but when I go to write I struggle to write it down so that it makes sense (like it does in my head). But here goes.
I don't believe that we can picture the life we want and it just happens. We want to be great parents, and awesome partners, and supportive friends etc, but each one of those 'wants' equals work as none of them occur on there own. We have to make them happen.
Each day I wake up and decide that 'today' I'm going to be the type of mother I REALLY want to be and then I mentally put my head in a place where my child receives support, care, love, and boundaries.
I find it so much easier when I break things down into managable chunks so I recommit to this each day.
Parenting alone (when seperated) isn't easy so although I want to be a great parent all year, I still mentally recommit to it each day as I know how easy it is for weeks or months to go by and life gets so busy I feel I'm not being as good a parent as I could be (or want to be).
In regards to giving things over to God, this is another biggie. being a better person doesn't just 'happen' either. I have learnt that those people (even in church) who appear to have a perfect lives arn't really any different to the rest of us. Everyone has their struggles and family life can get tough for everyone. Many moons ago (when my life was like a train on a collision course) I realised that I needed to change things and make some BIG changes. Putting my beliefs into practice is something I still have to work at but having those beliefs gives me a more grounded existance then how life used to be when everything was a shambles and I was an angry and bitter person. (gosh, the drama I used to live in would surprise you).
The old cliche that 'life is a journey' is true and I don't believe anyone (even God) expects us to get things right all the time. The best we can do is live and learn from our mistakes.