Monday 5th September 2011

Week 2 - Day 1

91.4kg

Yep - I have successfully GAINED an entire KILO in one week!
Go me!!!

And...... point taken about the daily weighing thing - it WAS doing my head in, so I am going back to weighing ONCE a week, on a Monday morning.
Hence the numbers today :)

I know why the numbers are up.... the weekend was SHIT for eating!
No excuses.... reasons behind why I ate crap food - I have plenty of them, but they are not excuses!
It's time to move on, and get my head back in the game....
Actually, it's time to get my head in ANY game to be honest!

Once again, I'm starting the week exhausted!
And I'm NOT enjoying it at all.

I love my life, and I love my baby girl, but this lack of sleep thing is quite literally turning me into a person I don't like!
It's been weeks now.... first of all when we took the dummy off Jaynie she started waking more at night....
Finally she got over that, then she got sick.
Well, after yet another trip to the Dr on Friday, it turns out that only one of her ears have cleared up, and she still has fluid behind one, so that means..........
MORE ANTIBIOTICS!!
Which, in turn, means MORE diareah, and MORE nappy rash, and just for good measure, she now has thrush - a direct result of the antibiotics!!
PLUS.... because she is now fully rolling over, I have to stop swaddling her in the "Miracle-wrap" at night.
So... not only does she have a sore ear, a chesty cough and a sore bum, but now she is also waking herself up in the middle of the night when her arms go flying about!
I knew it was gonna be a rough ride when we finally had to ditch the wrap, but MY GOD, what I wouldn't do for more than a couple of hours sleep at a time!
This morning she was awake at 2am, I fed her and put her back to bed and I thought all was well until about 15 minutes later when she started to cry.... and cry, and CRY!
So, I got up, settled her back down again, and crawled back in to bed myself... by this stage it was 3.45am, and then by 4am she was "talking" to her toys and herself and I am sure she thought it was wake up time!
Anyway, I've been up and down all night since 2am, and I'm exhausted, cos Friday night and Saturday night were pretty shitty too!

Anyway, I KNOW that when I am overtired and emotional and stressed, I turn to carbs and chocolate, and this time around has been no exception!

"Don't buy it" I hear you scream at me???

Hahahahahaha......... yeah right!

Telling me not to buy chocolate when I am this tired and this grumpy, is like a red rag to a bull!
There ain't NO holding me back!

Hopefully it can't get any worse.....

Oh hang on..... it can!
Last week I did "something" to my foot and it hurts like buggery!
It's the same foot that I injured a couple of years back when I was pissed and fell in the gutter....
It's swollen and painful and I can't wear heels at the moment!
So.... I can't even get out for walks or anything!

ARGH!!!!!

But..... I'm not about to give up at all.... I'll keep plugging on, I'll TRY not to eat any more chocolate, I'll TRY to ignore the fact that there is always housework to be done, and I will TRY to relax and get some much needed sleep when I can....

It's gonna be a TRYing week!

hahahahaha......