Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday 26th October 2010
I'm struggling.....
Preggy hormones have a LOT to answer for that is for damn sure!!!
I completely lost it last night, I yelled and screamed and threw things and even hit Jeremy.
I'm not proud of it, and it scares me.
I feel completely overwhelmed at times, I wonder what the hell I have got myself in for, having another baby at 38 years old!
Rhian is an amazing wee girl, but she is demanding and I'm tired and cranky and sore and unsure and just lost at times.
I snap at her more often than I should, and I take out my frustration on Jeremy... I'm amazed he hasn't walked out on me already.
Today I just feel like bursting in to tears at the drop of a hat, and I hate the fact that I feel totally out of control in my once "perfect" life.
What's changed?
Nothing that I can pinpoint.
I'm not sleeping well at night, I can lie there tossing and turning for what seems like hours at a time, and I wake up in the morning more tired than what I was when I went to bed.
Can it all just come down to a lack of sleep?
Really?
Like now........ I feel like I could just close my eyes and sleep for hours. I just want to put my head on my desk and close my tired puffy eyes and block out the world.
It all seems too hard at times, and last night was probably just a build up of it all.
And....... it turns out I'm not good at physical violence anyway......
I am the one with a bruised and sore wrist..... I can't even get that right!!!
How do I stop the craziness in my head and slow the spinning long enough to make sense of everything?
On the up side, over the weekend I tiled the kitchen splashback and grouted it as well. I cleaned the carpets, down about 15 loads of washing, sewed the curtains for the baby's room, and managed to go shopping (at a local 2nd hand shop) and score some amazing bargains on maternity clothes.
I think that is getting me down as well to be honest....... I know that I am growing a human, but I feel my eating is getting out of control, and I can't seem to stop it.
My belly is expanding, but my butt and thighs are also joining in on the act, and I don't like it!!
ARGH!!!!!
Some days it all just seems too hard!
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Jo, your such an amazing person a true inspiration. I hope you can relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Saying you had a busy weekend would be an understatement, what you got done was huge!!!! Tiling the kitchen that's awesome, pictures please!!!!
ReplyDeleteKym/Brisbane
For goodness sake slow down woman. You are overdoing it big time. Everything does not have to be done by yesterday. Phone either your mid wife or Dr Pip and tell them how you are feeling. I bet they say slow down too :) You and hormones never were a good match so take it easy and be easy on yourself.
ReplyDeleteLuv Ya big time
xoxoxoxoxoxo
I agree with your Mum - look at the big list of stuff you did over the weekend - it is no wonder you are exhausted & cranky, I would be exhausted & cranky if I managed all that and I am not pregnant!!!
ReplyDeleteYou need to slow down & rest, it does not matter if the house is not perfect & spotless, take time to relax and rest, you need to do this for both yours and babys health & wellbeing.
Jo, I have been following your blog since the very beginning and yes your an amazing inspiration, mainly because " you keep it real"
ReplyDeleteI remember being pregnant with my second child at 38 and well, I just couldn't do the things i was used to being able to do, I know it was because I was older and my body needed to be treated with a little bit more care and respect, I neglected to do that and ended up with pre eclampsia, though everything turned out and I have a healthy beautiful girl.
Please slow down, ask for help ( very important !!!) and look after yourself, this is your time to be selfish if you have too, and talk to your partner how your feeling and make sure your getting the support you need from those around and I mean the support YOU need not what other think you need and what seems right to them.
Wishing you all the best :)
Hang in there Jo....your a good person and an amazing Mum. I think it's natural to be having all these feelings. Just take one day at a time and try and slow down a little.
ReplyDeleteTake care
Michelle x
I agree with all above, you are really doing heaps more than I would imagine myslef doing. The hormones will be doing their darndest to upset the able cart. The most important thing is that you have actually reached out and are talking about it, and can now move forward at a much more realistic pace. I agree with Jenny......talk to your Dr or midwife.
ReplyDeleteCan't really add to the comments above...they've said it all. Take care, look after you, that new little baby and of course Rhian
ReplyDeleteyou are exhausted girl emotionally and physically SLOW DOWN before you break
ReplyDeleteFelicity
Hey, just like Post Natal Depression is caused by all the changing hormones, so is ante-natal depression.
ReplyDeletehttp://health.ninemsn.com.au/pregnancy/complications/693967/antenatal-depression
It may not be that...but it bloody sounds like it. ((big hugs for you))
I was just like this, and saw a psych at the hospital when I was pregnant with Billy and ended up on antidepressants (a path I did NOT want to take), but it made life sooo much better for everyone!
take care of you xx
Just for you... I shall post a photo of the bag next to something... give me 10 minutes!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with your Mum/////SLOW DOWN.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to be superwomen all the time.
Pregnancy makes you do weird things and you need as much energy as you can just to stay awake.
Pace yourself women!
Please take it easy Jo, you need to take care of you especially at this time.... please listen to your mum and SLOW DOWN :)
ReplyDeletesit back, be spoilt and enjoy the pregnancy..
anne (can't wait to see you btw) :)