Friday 15th October 2010

I have started this entry (and deleted it again) 3 times already this morning!
The reason?
I don't wanna be one of those people who talk about nothing but their pregnancy!
And todays entry is pretty much all about it!
Anyways, I came to the conclusion that this is MY blog, it's for whatever the hell I want to talk about, and those who don't wanna read it, or feel uncomfortable reading it for any reason, can just bugger off.
Righto..... that said, I can now continue :)

Last night I had more spotting, it was bright red blood and it gave me a hell of a fright!
I came back from the loo and Jeremy knew there was something wrong immediately.
He said all the colour had drained from my face.
I tried not to panic, but my heart felt so heavy, thinking about all the "what if" scenarios.
In the end, I turned to Dr Google, which may or may not have been the best idea in the world, because all I kept seeing was "late miscarriage".
After about 10 minutes of reading horrible stories and scaring myself shitless, I gave up and turned the computer off.
A restless nights sleep was had (what's new there) and this morning I was relieved to find no more blood - not even the tiniest amount.
I got brave then......  I got the Doppler out.
Now, let me back track a minute....  My darling sister has loaned me her super duper Doppler machine that picks up the baby's heartbeat and transmits it through sound waves through a tiny speaker.
Experienced people (midwives etc) can feel where the baby is positioned, then use the Doppler in the correct place to hear the heartbeat from about 12 weeks on.
I tried at 12 weeks, I couldn't find the heartbeat.
I tried at 13 weeks, I couldn't find the heartbeat.
I tried time and time and time again, and I couldn't find that damn heartbeat.
So, I put the Doppler in a place where I wouldn't see it every day, and tried to forget about it.
Until this morning.
And I am pleased to say that I FINALLY managed to find that tiny heartbeat, beating away at about 140 beats per minute!
I was elated, especially after the spotting scare last night.....
I'm still on a high about it to be honest!

You see, there is a period of time in a pregnancy when it is a bit like the great abyss so to speak.
You have had your 12 week scan, and everything is "normal".
But........ you can't feel any movement yet.
I belong to an internet forum of Mums that are all due in March 2011, and we have all commented on the same thing.
We KNOW we are pregnant, but not being able to feel your baby move yet, is quite unnerving.
And that is exactly where I am at at the moment.

After my weight loss surgery, my tummy became noisy, and rumbly, and gurgly.  If they are even words??
I remember saying to Jeremy ages and ages ago, that if I didn't know any better, I would have sworn that I was pregnant and that there was a baby moving around in there.
Now this was last year some time, a long long time before I actually got pregnant.
I get so much internal wind that it literally feels like a baby is in there permanently.
So now, I can't tell if it is actually the baby moving, or if it is just more wind!!
And the noise that comes from my stomach...... MY GOD!!!!!
This baby is gonna come out asking for earplugs I reckon!  lol.

So..... you other ladies out there who have had WLS....... do you have major internal wind rumblings as well?  Or is it just me???

Not much planned for this weekend at this stage.
We are talking about getting some small stuff done around the house, and the lawns need doing too, so hopefully the weather will be nice!
Have a good one everyone :)