Tuesday 2nd December

It has certainly been an eventful week!

I feel a bit like super woman at times, especially when I tell people what has been going on, and they say that they had no idea as I just "carried on as normal"!

Makes me feel that I have held it together quite well, and that is fantastic!

It has all gone relatively smoothly - Thank God!!!

Saturday:
Jeremy had been out on an all night booze bender and when he came home to find that I had packed a bag and taken Rhian to a girlfriends place for the night, he lost his marbles and threatened to smash all my stuff.  So, we broke up in spectacular fashion and I moved most of my things in to a storage unit.  Mum and Dad came down from Foxton to collect Rhian as I didn't want her involved in any of it.  Saturday night Jeremy was "sorry" and wanted me to move all my stuff back in.  

Sunday:
I went back to the house to sort out the kitchen stuff that I hadn't managed to do on Saturday.  Jeremy was ashamed, embarrassed, very very sorry, but resolved to the fact that we had broken up.  I drove up to mums and spent the night there, probably in a bit of shock to be honest!!!

Monday:
Rhian and I came back to Wellington, I dropped her at Kindy and I went off house hunting.
I had arranged a few appointments earlier that morning from mums place, so I went through three properties, and drove past 19 more.
Out of the 19 that I drove past, I seriously didn't want to go inside ANY of them!!!!
Rhian went to Chris's place, and I stayed at a friend from work's place.

Tuesday:
Went to work and tried to pretend that all was OK.
I decided to take one of that places that I had been through the day before, so at 1.30pm I handed over $1511 (pretty much all I had saved for my hearing aides) and signed up to move my stuff in the next day.
I stayed at Anne's place again that night

Wednesday:
Took annual leave for the day, as the movers were booked to get all my stuff from the storage unit in to the new place.
They were 3 hours late, so a lot of times was wasted, but it all got done and nothing got broken - YAY!!!
I stayed at Anne's place again that night.

Thursday:
Work as usual, and I was pretty busy so didn't have much of a chance to worry about anything.
Stayed at Anne's place again that night, and we had a few too many wines!
Got to bed at about 12.30am and felt a bit seedy when I woke up, but I think it was JUST what I needed!!!!

Friday:
Went to work as usual, spent the day regretting the wine from the night before!!!   hehehehehe....
After work I went and got a few bits that were left in the storage unit (mirrors and pillows) then went to my new place and began sorting stuff out.
Sue came around and helped heaps, so that was fantastic!!!
I spent the first night alone in my new place.

Saturday:
Sue and her two sons came over, and we went to Jeremy's place to pick up my fridge, TV, Rhian's bunks and some things out of the shed.
Got all that moved in to the new place, and spent the rest of the day unpacking and sorting things out.
Sue went home and I was supposed to have a shower, but NO........... I just "had" to clean the fridge out!
I noticed that there must have been something pushed up against the back of the fridge, which had caused it to ice up, so I grabbed a knife and began chipping the ice off............. BAD IDEA!!!!!!
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I punctured the back rear gas panel of the fridge, and all the gas came pissing out!!!
NOTHING I could do about it, except laugh!!!!
Rang the insurance company, and they basically said that I had to get someone to take a look at it and see if it could be repaired.
No one wanted to know at 7.30pm on a Saturday night, so there was little I could do.
Sue & Sharon came around for a few wines, and I just wasn't in the mood to drink, so I watched them get pissed, then drove them to Burger King for food at 10pm!
The 2nd night alone in my new place was worse than the first!  Dunno why, but I had a bit of a Poor Me moment, and shed a few tears.

Sunday:
Everything in the freezer thawed out overnight, and I ended up giving most of what was left away.
Mum and Dad turned up for a visit, then Chris and Marie (Chris's girlfriend) dropped Rhian off to me and we all had a coffee.
Then it was off to Aunty Ali's place for lunch..... she is literally just around the corner and down the road a bit - YAY!
After lunch, Rhian and I went shopping for some bits and pieces, then to Sue's for dinner.
Rhian's first night in the new house was a little unsettled, and she didn't actually get in to her own bed until about 10pm, but I guess that is totally understandable - it is a lot to take in for a four year old!!!

Monday:
Back to work and Rhian to Kindy.
After work we had to go out and deliver some Avon, then stopped in at another friends place for dinner.
Ange is pregnant, and has just set up the nursery, so Rhian got a kick out of seeing all that.
She reckons that Ange should call her baby "Gemma", cos that is Rhian's Dolls name!!!
Too cute!!!
Rhian's 2nd night in the new place was a lot better, and although it was still a late night of 9pm by the time we got home from dinner then got bathed and ready for bed etc, she went to bed no problems and slept all night.

And that brings me to today.
Tuesday.
Rhian cracked me up this morning.......... she grabbed a pair of my knickers off the bed and waved them around in the air, and told me that my knickers were just like hers, cos they were pink.
Then she said, "Actually mum, yours are much much much much bigger than mine!"
I laughed.
To which she said "They are ENORMOUS knickers mumma!!!"

Hmmmmmmm, thanks darling!!!!   lol

Just as well I wont have "enormous" knickers for long then huh???

I have my appointments in Hamilton tomorrow and Thursday.
In a way, I am quite pleased that everything with Jeremy happened last week, as it meant that I haven't had a chance to stress about the appointments AT ALL!!!!
And now that I sit down and actually take a breather and think about it all.,..... I AM slightly nervous!

I am sure it will all go fine......... in fact I just KNOW that it will all be fine!

I am off to Foxton tonight after work, then mum and dad and me are driving up to Hamilton tomorrow morning for my first appointment at 1.30pm.

Mum is going to come to the appointments with me as my support person and that is a huge relief to know that I will have  second pair of ears to take in all that I will no doubt miss.

I will go to see the Psychologist and the Therapist by myself, but mum will be with me when I see the nurse and the dietician and the surgeon.

So the next few days will be bloody busy!!!!!

We will drive back to Foxton on Thursday afternoon, and I will stay at mums again, then head back to Wellington on Friday morning............ just in time to be loaded on to a bus and whisked away to a secret location for our work Xmas party.

Rhian will be staying with Chris until Saturday morning, so that means that this year I can have a drink or two and not having to worry about picking her up from daycare afterwards, like last year.

Righto........... I think that is just about everything!

It's been an emotional week, a stressful week, and in some ways a heartbreaking week, but day by day I am getting stronger, and I know for damn sure that I will NOT let this hold me back from getting my fairytale!!!!
Although even if Prince Bloody Charming DID appear in front of me right at this moment - I'd probably just laugh in his face!!!!!!

I am on good terms with Jeremy, I reckon life is too damn short to hold grudges and be too much of a bitch!  
He rings or texts me every day, I think he feels guilty that it is ME that had to do all the moving and stuff, and by checking in on me, and making sure that I am OK,  it makes him feel better about it.  Maybe?  Well, that is what it seems like anyway!  hehehehe.

I don't regret the past two years, I have had a hell of a lot of fun, met some fantastic people and partied like I haven't partied before.  
It's just a shame that there have also been a few tears in the mix as well.
But it is well and truly over, no matter what changes he makes, I know deep down that it was never going to work out.
We are not compatible enough to spend our lives together, and I am totally OK with that.

It's now time to look after Rhian and ME.....

2009 is gonna be OUR year!!!